Postpartum mother wonders how it could have been different


Q: After planning for a Conscious Birth, my experience was so traumatic… It was not what I had dreamed of.  What could I have done for a more harmonious, less violent and less medicalized birth?




A:






I am so sorry that you didn’t have an amazing experience you’ve planned…  At the same time, I also want to offer my understanding that if I learned anything in the last 32 years of my service with the Birthing Field, it’s that there are no accidents in the way we come and go. It has something to do with the Soul’s agenda for this lifetime and our birth sets up the journey our Soul requires. It was not just you giving birth. It was, as much, your baby’s creation. And if your child needed a different experience of birth or a different mom, he would have had it. 

From what I understand, the main reason for complications in birth is the birth trauma of the pregnant woman. Do you know anything about your own birth? Did you have any sessions to neutralize the unconscious memories? A woman learns about giving birth by being born. The memory of the internal workings registers in the body on a cellular level.

Please, be kind to yourself, it’s most important now for you to relax and heal. Your son could be now picking up on your sense of guilt and failure more than the actual birthing memory. Guilt is very toxic, it spreads like a virus in the family. Most likely, it didn’t start with you. It’s being handed down from generation to generation, our grandmothers got it from their mothers, we got it from ours… it is contagious. Let go of it, it will never do any good. Learn to trust the big picture! Learn to breathe, to open your heart, to dance, to be happy! Love and happiness are a learned skill. Very few had role models. It’s our collective creative project. Nobody has answers for us. Each one of us has to make it up!Take really good care of yourself now, whenever you get a moment! This is what your baby needs the most - the quality of your presence that assures his well being, that will build up his dopamine production sufficient for his ultimate thriving. He needs to feel connection with your heart. When you relax, your baby will relax.Get massages, walks, take a bath, whenever you can. And, as I said, the biggest piece in this puzzle is your own birth trauma, which was activated by your pregnancy. Working with it always has retroactive effect. When one woman in the family snaps off from this mass hypnosis of sleepwalking through life, it automatically affects her entire lineage - her foremothers and her children. If you want to deal with that, you’d need to find somebody to help you. I am sure, there are some practitioners in your area that offer sessions on neutralizing birth traumas. The reason why you need help with it, is because the whole point of it is getting a new reference point in your nervous system of somebody out there being there for you just the way you need them to be for you. It’s not something you can give yourself being alone with it. Your partner, the father of your baby, is doing his best supporting you. If he could do better, he would, trust me on that. His birth trauma was activated by your pregnancy, too. If he is not living up to his part, it’s because he is completely disoriented. We don’t have any traditions teaching boys how to become fathers. So don’t expect him to be the rock for you 100% of the time. He actually needs support himself during this time. It is deeply sad and un-natural that in our culture the new parents have so little support and basic education about adjusting to their new status.
I noticed a long time ago that when a mother shifts her energy, it is automatically, instantly reflected in a baby. So, reach out. I’m sure help is at your fingertips!

My best wishes and lots of blessings!
Elena 
Founder of Birth Into Being

For more information, visit www.BirthIntoBeing.com

Postpartum mother wonders how it could have been different

Q: After planning for a Conscious Birth, my experience was so traumatic… It was not what I had dreamed of.  What could I have done for a more harmonious, less violent and less medicalized birth?

A:
I am so sorry that you didn’t have an amazing experience you’ve planned…  At the same time, I also want to offer my understanding that if I learned anything in the last 32 years of my service with the Birthing Field, it’s that there are no accidents in the way we come and go. It has something to do with the Soul’s agenda for this lifetime and our birth sets up the journey our Soul requires. It was not just you giving birth. It was, as much, your baby’s creation. And if your child needed a different experience of birth or a different mom, he would have had it. 
From what I understand, the main reason for complications in birth is the birth trauma of the pregnant woman. Do you know anything about your own birth? Did you have any sessions to neutralize the unconscious memories? A woman learns about giving birth by being born. The memory of the internal workings registers in the body on a cellular level.
Please, be kind to yourself, it’s most important now for you to relax and heal. Your son could be now picking up on your sense of guilt and failure more than the actual birthing memory. Guilt is very toxic, it spreads like a virus in the family. Most likely, it didn’t start with you. It’s being handed down from generation to generation, our grandmothers got it from their mothers, we got it from ours… it is contagious. 

Let go of it, it will never do any good. Learn to trust the big picture! Learn to breathe, to open your heart, to dance, to be happy! Love and happiness are a learned skill. Very few had role models. It’s our collective creative project. Nobody has answers for us. Each one of us has to make it up!

Take really good care of yourself now, whenever you get a moment! This is what your baby needs the most - the quality of your presence that assures his well being, that will build up his dopamine production sufficient for his ultimate thriving. He needs to feel connection with your heart. When you relax, your baby will relax.

Get massages, walks, take a bath, whenever you can. And, as I said, the biggest piece in this puzzle is your own birth trauma, which was activated by your pregnancy. Working with it always has retroactive effect. When one woman in the family snaps off from this mass hypnosis of sleepwalking through life, it automatically affects her entire lineage - her foremothers and her children. If you want to deal with that, you’d need to find somebody to help you. I am sure, there are some practitioners in your area that offer sessions on neutralizing birth traumas. The reason why you need help with it, is because the whole point of it is getting a new reference point in your nervous system of somebody out there being there for you just the way you need them to be for you. It’s not something you can give yourself being alone with it. 

Your partner, the father of your baby, is doing his best supporting you. If he could do better, he would, trust me on that. His birth trauma was activated by your pregnancy, too. If he is not living up to his part, it’s because he is completely disoriented. We don’t have any traditions teaching boys how to become fathers. So don’t expect him to be the rock for you 100% of the time. He actually needs support himself during this time. It is deeply sad and un-natural that in our culture the new parents have so little support and basic education about adjusting to their new status.

I noticed a long time ago that when a mother shifts her energy, it is automatically, instantly reflected in a baby. So, reach out. I’m sure help is at your fingertips!
My best wishes and lots of blessings!
Elena 
Founder of Birth Into Being
For more information, visit www.BirthIntoBeing.com

planetaerium:

if you haven’t seen this, you’re missing out on life

This is like one of the Birth Into Being processes we do: the Elements Meditation.  
You are guided deep into the earth and her rotating crust, feel the weight of the skyscrapers andy pyramids and mountains, and continue going through each element until they are all at ease and balance within your body. then we may see the balance of the external environment, as they are intricately connected. 
For more information, visit www.BirthIntoBeing.com

planetaerium:

if you haven’t seen this, you’re missing out on life

This is like one of the Birth Into Being processes we do: the Elements Meditation.  

You are guided deep into the earth and her rotating crust, feel the weight of the skyscrapers andy pyramids and mountains, and continue going through each element until they are all at ease and balance within your body. then we may see the balance of the external environment, as they are intricately connected. 

For more information, visit www.BirthIntoBeing.com

(via leycort)

Post-Partum Sexuality, by Elena Tonetti-Vladimirova
After having a child, the new mother has a very complex hormonal cocktail in her system, which is very different from what’s going on with the father of the new baby. It would take a whole book to describe this difference. But for the purpose of this short article, I’ll focus on one of the many aspects, - postpartum sexuality.
The mother gets her intimacy needs met while nursing, cuddling, being connected with the baby hormonally, neuro-biologically, etc. The man’s need to feel loved is mainly, if he is a healthy male, is addressed sexually. He KNOWS, of course, he is loved when the children come, and he wants to help! But ‘knowing’ something and ‘FEELING’ it - are two very different experiences, not always connected with each other within the cognitive function of the brain.
Read the full Post-Partum Sexuality article on our blog.

Post-Partum Sexuality, by Elena Tonetti-Vladimirova

After having a child, the new mother has a very complex hormonal cocktail in her system, which is very different from what’s going on with the father of the new baby. It would take a whole book to describe this difference. But for the purpose of this short article, I’ll focus on one of the many aspects, - postpartum sexuality.

The mother gets her intimacy needs met while nursing, cuddling, being connected with the baby hormonally, neuro-biologically, etc. The man’s need to feel loved is mainly, if he is a healthy male, is addressed sexually. He KNOWS, of course, he is loved when the children come, and he wants to help! But ‘knowing’ something and ‘FEELING’ it - are two very different experiences, not always connected with each other within the cognitive function of the brain.

Read the full Post-Partum Sexuality article on our blog.

We’ve got a treat for you.  Check out this beautiful, fun, and interactive magazine: ReWild Yourself!

Daniel Vitalis dives in deep discussion with Elena Tonetti-Vladimirova, one of the pioneers of Conscious Evolution and founder of Birth Into Being, about how our traumatic birth experiences shape our psychology.

Including:

  • Our world experience begins before conception
  • Birth experience is related to emotional memory
  • We are raising a society programmed to have needs neglected
  • Thousands of years of slavery still live in our bones
  • Daniel’s birth and childhood experience
  • Most of our fears have deep ancestral roots
  • Myths of birth complications
  • The altered state of Ecstatic Birth
  • The #1 way to avoid complications during birth
  • Give birth in a place, in a way, that connects to your true nature
  • How to deal with outside pressure when making decisions about your pregnancy
  • What does today’s ReWilded child look like?
  • Dissociation is ingrained in us from birth
  • An amazing story of a child healing herself from birth trauma
  • Healing words of wisdom from Elena

And that’s just a fraction of the wisdom that awaits when you begin to read and listen to the ReWild Yourself! Dispatch 4 - The Operant Condition.

pipperipembo:

lunarfossil:

Did this on my birthday with a beautiful man who started the Egyptian revolutions……. Wow. What an honor to call that powerful being my friend. What a way to start off my next revolution around the sun. I am seriously so grateful.

wow, this looks like a birth into being workshop!  

I wonder what they are doing?  It does look just like a Birth Into Being workshop! 

More info on our workshops, visit www.birthintobeing.com

pipperipembo:

lunarfossil:

Did this on my birthday with a beautiful man who started the Egyptian revolutions……. Wow. What an honor to call that powerful being my friend. What a way to start off my next revolution around the sun. I am seriously so grateful.

wow, this looks like a birth into being workshop!  

I wonder what they are doing?  It does look just like a Birth Into Being workshop! 

More info on our workshops, visit www.birthintobeing.com

intothesacredsunshine:

"Women’s bodies have near-perfect knowledge of childbirth; it’s when their brains get involved that things can go wrong."
~Peggy Vincent 'Baby Catcher’


In Birth Into Being Method workshops, we use a process called ‘Magical Theater’ to align the three parts of the brain: the reptilian, the limbic, and the cortex.   What this quote is referring to, I believe, is the tendency for women’s cortexes, or logical, thinking minds, to become overactive and take control of the process.  The reptilian brain, the part that regulates the body’s rhythms such as breathing and heartbeat, knows exactly how to open the cervix and let the baby come out.  The limbic brain, or the emotional center, acts like the glue between the rational thoughts and the body’s physiological action.
 Through ‘Magic Theater,” we align all three parts to work together.  This has a profound effect in childbirth, but it also applies to people having difficulty with transitions or creating new projects or realities for themselves.  When we are aligned internally, our world can flow effortlessly around us. 
Oh, and one other response to this quote:  women’s bodies have a perfect knowledge of childbirth. ;)
Visit www.birthintobeing.com to find a workshop near you and to find more resources and articles. 

intothesacredsunshine:

"Women’s bodies have near-perfect knowledge of childbirth; it’s when their brains get involved that things can go wrong."

~Peggy Vincent 'Baby Catcher

In Birth Into Being Method workshops, we use a process called ‘Magical Theater’ to align the three parts of the brain: the reptilian, the limbic, and the cortex.   What this quote is referring to, I believe, is the tendency for women’s cortexes, or logical, thinking minds, to become overactive and take control of the process.  The reptilian brain, the part that regulates the body’s rhythms such as breathing and heartbeat, knows exactly how to open the cervix and let the baby come out.  The limbic brain, or the emotional center, acts like the glue between the rational thoughts and the body’s physiological action.

 Through ‘Magic Theater,” we align all three parts to work together.  This has a profound effect in childbirth, but it also applies to people having difficulty with transitions or creating new projects or realities for themselves.  When we are aligned internally, our world can flow effortlessly around us. 

Oh, and one other response to this quote:  women’s bodies have a perfect knowledge of childbirth. ;)

Visit www.birthintobeing.com to find a workshop near you and to find more resources and articles. 

We, as spiritual beings, have the capacity to experience the transformative power of birth that connects us with deeper understanding of life. When a new human being that did not exist before, enters into our world, the veil separating our reality from the Great Unseen becomes very transparent for a short period of time. This gives us an opportunity to experience, first hand, the ecstatic bliss of ONENESS with all, a state in which separation does not exist, where Love prevails.

When Love is an integral part of the birthing field, a woman has access to the power of creation that is working through her. The more power there is in her field the less force she will need to use, because Love is a highly coherent field. And visa versa: the less power she has, the more force it would require to deliver a baby.

Elena Tonetti-Vladimirova

(http://www.birthintobeing.com/)

Thanks for sharing this beautiful quote from the founder of Birth Into Being, fuchsia-sunbeam!